*

Inspiration

2009-09-28T22:30:00.000-04:00

The Best Songs of my Tweens

2009-09-22T22:34:00.001-04:00

Remember that phase? That one that was as awkward for you as it was for history -- the late 80s/early 90s? They were mostly awful. But here's what made it awesome:

1. Technotronic - Pump Up The Jam

2. Black Box - Ride On Time (Thanks Chris)

3. Snap - Rhythm is a Dancer

4. Culture Beat - Mr. Vain

5. C + C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)

I'm in a Misanthropic Mood

2009-09-17T23:14:00.004-04:00

A few months ago I picked up a copy of Eye Magazine and read a really stupid, presumptuous article about Quarter Life crises that made 20-somethings sound like lazy, spineless, futureless idiots. I hated it, and I haven't picked up an Eye Magazine ever since.

Today, I saw this article reposted in a bog I follow sometimes. Reading it again sucked even more than the first time. It's a presumptuous push on the old idea that what maturity really means is settling down and having kids. According to the quiz at the end of the article, if you are well-adjusted you will watch documentaries about fonts and worry about "the calories in beer and nachos," but if instead you watch Fight Club, apply to graduate programs, and worry about "turning 30 and moving back into your parents' basement," then you should get yourself a shrink. O RLY?

Apparently, the ultimate cause of this is that we think we can be whatever we want, so we get caught up in repetitive cycles of starting something new and then giving up. Boo hoo. So I ask, so fucking what. Who is to say that settling down will make everyone happy? Who is to say that people who travel and job-hop aren't just as (un)satisfied with their lives as the settled-down ones? So apparently research shows that married men are happier. 1) I don't care because I'm not a man, and 2) half of all marriages ends in divorce.

Do these people stop to think that maybe, just maybe, the crisis part of "quarter life" comes from the fact that we still have to deal with the fact that what we really want to do doesn't fit someone's idea of what we are supposed to want, and maybe not all human beings are the same and we don't all want the exact same thing from our lives? Maybe we're in crisis because we're told that this "settling," this "growing up" is the only thing we can possibly want, that this is the best life can offer for us, but we don't believe it, and we don't know what else there is to want because we haven't had the time to figure it out yet. It's just too easy to believe what you're told, Ms. Carraway from Eye magazine. It's too easy to not have to look for a different way of life.

My opinion is that our generation is in fact much more mature than those before us who craved children and marriage at 22. We want to enjoy our lives a little bit without having to wait until we are 65 to do so (if we ever make it that far). We don't care if you don't approve of how we have fun. It's not "self-flagellation," dude. We actually enjoy it. We go to grad school because we feel that undergrad did not teach us as much as we want to learn, NOT to "delay other choices about career and stability." And finally, we want "cool jobs" because we are intelligent enough to realize that filing papers from 9 to 5 and getting 10 days off per year will not bring us happiness like you told us it would.

Stop telling us how to live our lives. It's none of your business.

Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right (But Three Lefts Do)

2009-08-23T23:06:00.022-04:00

This is a response to the article Animal Rights is Wrong by Loretta Baughan, via @GrrlScientist on Twitter.

I have to start by saying I've surprised myself for wanting to defend the Animal Rights community at this point in my life. A long time ago I went to animal rights meetings, was vegan, raised vegetarian, the whole deal - but for the past 5 years or so I've been distancing myself more and more from the community, and I'm not even always vegetarian anymore. The truth is, most people who participate in animal rights groups and their activities are fairly neurotic and obsessive, and groups can become cult-like (no more than your average church, mind you).

That being said, most of these people are also very hard-working and compassionate. They volunteer an insane amount of time, donate a lot of money, and rescue loads of animals in need. i.e. they do a lot more for animals than your average pet owner who thinks dogs are there to be paraded inside tiny purses and have their fur dyed pink.

So take this as an opinion of an insider-turned-outsider who, as far as I've been told, has pretty balanced views. Here are some of the points implied in the article that I want to address:

Those involved in animal rights groups are largely ignorant of animal husbandry practices.
The true "experts" who actually care deeply about animal welfare are farmers, hunters, fishermen, ranchers and dog breeders.
Animal welfare and animal rights are the opposite of each other.
Being anti-circus, anti-rodeo, recommending eating less meat, and encouraging the use of alternatives to animal testing are "radical beliefs", "un-American," and "dangerous".
Animal rights activists wish to devalue human life by dictating how we live and controlling what we can and can't do.

Now on to a slightly different view on the matter. Here's how I see it:

1. People who believe in animal rights are not ignorant of animal husbandry. The people I know personally are people who take care of dozens of abandoned animals at home and in sanctuaries and shelters, who work in veterinary clinics, who are ecology and biology researchers in universities. The stories I have heard from people who turned vegetarian include ones who were attached to a pet chicken as a child only to see it turn into dinner; ones who saw a pig being slaughtered for the first time after raising them; ones who were taken hunting by their dad and did not enjoy the emotional experience of taking the life of a beautiful animal. So, it's not true that AR people are ignorant urbanites. It's something really unfair to say and shows that the author doesn't personally know anyone involved in AR. To me, ignorance means you've never heard the sound of a pig being slaughtered, which is something the majority of meat-eaters are shameless in saying they never want to hear because it would "turn them off pork."

2. Hunters are the ones who care deeply about animal welfare? Really? Do you mean those same guys who were responsible for the extinction of the woodland bison, the eastern elk, the red wolf, the eastern cougar, the passenger pigeon, the Carolina parakeet, the Ivory-billed woodpecker, the snowy egret, the heath hen, and Stellar's sea cow? The same guys responsible for endangering the bobcats, the Pacific grizzly bears, the white rhino, the ibex, the musk ox, and the scarlet macaw and countless others? With friends like these, who needs enemies? According to PacificWild, 430 grizzlies were killed in one year by sport hunters despite the fact that

Conservationists and independent scientists have been saying for years that the continuation of the sport hunt in its current form reveals a provincial government sorely out of step with reality [...]

As far as fishermen, farmers, and dog breeders, there's that pesky global fishery collapse due to the fact that quotas are politically motivated and completely ignore scientific advice, farming practices are becoming increasingly industrialized and intensive, and dog breeders continually push for breeding dogs that are unhealthy and have aesthetically "appealing" malformations and for culling perfectly healthy puppies because they don't fit breed standards (see the awesome BBC documentary Pedigree Dogs Exposed).

Personally, I'm not saying that hunting should be banned, as in some rare well-research instances it can help conservation. I am sure the author is speaking for herself and she does care deeply about animals, but to say that people who kill animals are the only ones who care deeply about them is a slight leap in logic. If this has convinced you of anything, please let it be that the burden of proof lies on the person who makes a statement like that.

3. "Animal rights" is not the opposite of "animal welfare". Animal rights organizations oppose the use of animals as an end goal because this is the ideal situation for them. They are not trying to ban people from eating meat or having pets. The only thing I have ever seen AR activists do is to convince people that these things are not good, so that they make their decision to not do those things, e.g. not eat meat, etc. But it's their right to evangelize. I haven't met any AR activist who tried to incite hate, apart from online (where everyone hates each other by default).

So PeTA thinks people shouldn't have pets. It's a theoretical position - most animal rights people in fact do have pets, probably ones they adopted from a shelter. But by having an "opposite extreme" position they can highlight the problem of puppy mills and abandoned animals, and they certainly don't disagree with adopting animals from a shelter, as a matter of fact they encourage it. And what's so bad about encouraging people to adopt a dog rather than buying one from a puppy mill, anyway? It sounds good to me. And if you ask anyone in the animal rights movement in person they will 100% support any animal welfare measure as a pathway to the "ideal" of not using animals at all. I personally guarantee it. Try it. I will give you a $50 for each animal rights activist you speak to who does not agree that it's a good thing to reduce animal suffering by giving them more comfortable lives even if they are not "liberated".

I mean, if you want to hate PeTA, do it because they like to scare little children, and because they are sexist assholes. But remember, PeTA doesn't represent the entire world of animal rights.

One last thing: The animal welfare position is that some uses of animals are unaceptable, including animal testing for cosmetics, and some forms of hunting!

4. Being anti-circus and recommending eating less meat are not radical ideas. Come on, even the United Nations and the Mayo Clinic recommend that you eat less meat. It's bad for you and bad for the environment. This is mainstream and widely accepted. AR is indeed against animals in circus, and this isn't a radical idea, either. The RSPCA, a moderate, mainstream animal welfare organization, is completely against the use of wild animals in circus because animals are subjected to "frequent travel, restricted movements, poor living conditions and loud noises." A lot of very reasonable people agree. It's no surprise that non-animal circuses like Cirque du Soleil are incomparably more popular - they've realized that audiences really don't like looking at miserable-, sick-looking elephants parading around in tutus, and lions endangering themselves by jumping through tiny hoops engulfed in flames. I don't get a kick out of that at all (most people don't).

I know there are extremists in the movement, as there are in any organization or religion. But I don't go around saying that Christianity is immoral because Christians murdered Dr. Tiller, or that Islam is completely wrong because Muslims bombed the twin towers. So, you shouldn't say animal rights is wrong just because there are crazies in there. The author quotes this Steve Best guy to represent the entire group of animal rights supporters. I've never heard of this guy, and I tried to look around for opinions on him, and the only one I found (he's not very well known) is by this one vegan who thinks his approach "is more like that of a Hitler Youth rally." Now, why would you choose the most extreme position you can find to discredit an entire group of people who are actually doing good work?

5. There is already something that dictates what we can and can't do: it's called the law. There have been animal cruelty laws since 1635! That's almost 400 years of "disrespecting your freedom" to do as you wish with your animal property! That's 200 years before slavery was abolished. We already do take owners to court because of their animals - That's how Michael Vick was sentenced. He shouldn't have the right to do as he pleases just because the dogs belong to him. This is why we arrest and fine animal killers and animal torturers. Animal rights activists are not radicalizing this idea, they are merely trying to strengthen it. Making cruelty to animals illegal does not devalue human life - quite the opposite, IMO.

And seen as evidence shows that scientific advice on hunting quotas is mostly ignored, and quotas are disrespected and underenforced, it's no surprise that AR groups want to ban hunting altogether. Hunting laws are there because you can't just go around killing everything in sight and expect them to still be there next year. But the point is that you wouldn't know if you've killed everything in sight in the wilderness, and this is why quotas are determined scientifically. Just because you see "a lot of them" doesn't mean they are not endangered.

By the way, the EU is now seriously considering banning animal testing on great apes. Imagine that. I mean, if communicating with sign language doesn't save you from being experimented on, there's not much else that would, right?

I understand why people get defensive and upset about animal rights, especially online, where people like to take out all the anger and frustration of their daily lives. I myself don't participate in any of these awful forums where activists get together to berate each other about what they are and aren't doing. Some people think pets shouldn't be fed meat, some people don't. Some people think the pitbull ban is bad, some think it's good. Some wear second-hand leather, some don't. Some love PeTA, many hate PeTA. But regardless of the many different opinions fostered there, animal rights is not wrong.

The End.

This absurdly long post is brought to you by: ad breaks during Mad Men. Yay spare time!
The heavy use of italics brought to you by: Reading too many graphic novels. This whole post is like one big speech bubble.

Things I like (and it's not even Thursday)

2009-08-23T00:59:00.000-04:00

I know, I know. It's been a while. What can I say. Things are too frustrating at the lab for me to have any motivation for posting. Also, there is twitter.

Anyhoo. This is what caught my eye this week.

Daniel Arsham's art (via swissmiss)

This awesome Milky Way time lapse video

Galactic Center of Milky Way Rises over Texas Star Party from William Castleman on Vimeo.

And, uh... not much else. I'm also trying to psych myself up for running 9 miles (14.5km) tomorrow. Yay!...

Conform!

2009-07-20T13:10:00.001-04:00

"Congratulations Michael on your conformation"

A cakewreck is worth a thousand words!

Ocean.

2009-06-13T10:41:00.000-04:00

"When two currents with different temperatures and densities — cold, Arctic water is saltier and denser than subtropical waters — collide, they create eddies. Phytoplankton growing in the surface waters become concentrated along the boundaries of these eddies, tracing out the motions of the water."

From Livescience.

People you don't like who you have to be nice to.

2009-06-02T23:23:00.001-04:00

More specifically, people you don't like who you have to be nice to because they are friends with people you do like.

I think it's fair to say that most of what I know about people, I have learned from monkeys. The main difference is that monkeys dont' have to be nice to monkeys they don't like. It's so much more simple. However, I will try to apply monkey logic to solve the following scenarios.

So, what to do when a friend of a friend repeatedly hits on your boyfriend? What to do when a friend of a friend, who is an insanely messy person and doesn't really get boundaries and personal space, is coming over to your place? What happens when a friend of your parent hits on you in front of said parent? Let's observe.

Scenario 1) This chick is so blatantly obvious when she's throwing herself at your boyfriend that he gets just as uncomfortable as you. You can't be rude with a friend of a friend, and you can't try to say it nicely either, because "being jealous" is soooo 20th century.

MONKEY'S RESPONSE: Not quite quat you expect from a rational human being! This isn't about jealousy, it's about territory. She's invading your territory, pushing you into beta position -- and if you let her, she will be one step above you in the pecking order (No one butts in between the alpha and her/his mates!).

MONKEY SOLUTION: You will need full co-operation with your mate. Simple distraction will work to deter this monkey, so throw her a banana! Get her attention by butting in the flirt-versation and asking a million questions about her life. She will look at your boyfriend when responding to your questions at first, but persist - stand in front of your boyfriend and block her view if necessary. If you are seated, trade places.

Scenario 2) The messy friend of a friend.

MONKEY'S RESPONSE: You are mildly concerned about your territory.

MONKEY SOLUTION: Clear all things breakable, close your bedroom door, don't serve red wine. Then: Grin and bear it. It's not that bad after all.

Scenario 3) You are brought up to respect your parents and their peers. When you get bad douchebag vibes from one, do you have to keep being friendly?

MONKEY'S RESPONSE: A version of the beta male trying to be alpha for the night. He is friendly with everyone until he can get you off-guard, and the only way he knows how to be alpha is to show the other betas that he can get (read: dominate) the women. The more unattainable the better.

HUMAN NON-SOLUTION: You keep on being friendly because you don't know what else to do (if only you were a monkey!), but you do manage to get a handful of NOs out before he tries to shove his tongue in your throat. You get pissed off. Your parent gets pissed off. He blames you for leading him on, of course. And people believe him because he is a beta male and therefore talented at getting people on his side. People never take the side of the woman in these situations, except for her loyal friends and family. Shit hits the fan. Friendships end.

MONKEY ADVICE FOR NEXT TIME: You have to say no and be 100% firm. You will end up being rude to nice guys accidentally, but that is the price you have to pay for your own damsel safety. Sorry, nice guys. Please understand.

NEED ADVICE? Send me a message and the Agony Monkey will solve all your problems!

***DISCLAIMER*** None of the people pictured hit on their friend's boyfriends or daughters, nor are they messy. Also none of the primates picutred are monkeys. Thanks.

Awesome Animals June

2009-06-01T09:17:00.000-04:00

a tiny thingy that looks like something out of a pixar movie

why isn't this on cuteoverload.com?

a LOLcat: O HAI I iz spinninnnniinnnninnn.... I fallded!

finally: can you get more awesome than drunken gorillas?

Best blogs to add to your RSS feed

2009-05-26T14:01:00.000-04:00

CAKE WRECKS

AWKWARD FAMILY PHOTOS

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING HIPSTER

The Story of Stuff

2009-05-12T18:24:00.000-04:00

I just watched The Story of Stuff thinking it would be more of the same, but I was actually pretty impressed -- it's very well made and well explained. The message is basically BUY LESS. It's a great change from the "vote with your dollar" paradigm, which is a patronizing and capitalistic point of view that again reduces people's political power to how much they are worth monetarily.

Of course it's true that it's always better to buy local, environmentally friendly products despite these being rather more expensive, but by saying "buy less" you still mean these things, without having to stick to the idea that you are what you buy. It also helps people realize that by buying less things you will probably be more likely to afford greener, better-for-you things. Face it, we don't need all this stuff. Most people in North America don't even need to eat nearly as much as we do now, yet we still try to maximize the quantity of food we buy without thinking at all about what is better for us. "Buy less" is all encompassing and applies to anyone and everyone.

People who believe you should "vote with your dollar" are the kind of people who completely miss the point. They are the people who buy recycled gift paper and think they are being great for the environment. They are the people who buy an electric car but still drive to the corner store. They are the green movement's Achilles heel and we should focus as much of our energy in changing the way they think as we do in changing those still driving SUVs.

Awesome animal videos, May edition

2009-05-05T19:25:00.000-04:00

Snowball bites the dust

You haven't seen a fox dive until you've seen this one

Haute Couture Halloween costumes

2009-04-10T14:05:00.000-04:00

That Warhol dress on the right. I want to wear it for Halloween. Just as bad as I want to wear a Bjork swan dress. mmm furry.

How I got rid of gnats with ecology

2009-04-07T20:40:00.000-04:00

Last summer I repotted my plants with new soil I bought from a garden store which will remain nameless, and the soil brought in indoor fungus gnats, or nasty-gnats as I like to call them. How do I know it was the soil? Only 2 out of my 5 plants got infected, and they were the ones I repotted with the new soil - the gnats never infected the other pots. Once fall came and I brought my plants inside, clouds of gnats were hovering around my plants. And my face.

The worst part was how annoying those gnats were - soon they expanded their horizons and were found throughout the whole house! They aimed for moist orifices of people's faces, like nostrils, mouths, and tear ducts. On the worst day I killed about 50 in just a few hours without even trying too hard!

While developing new and exciting swatting techniques like the one-handed squish and the clap-and-rub, I also scoured the internet for how to get rid of those damn things.

For months I tried every suggestion I could find out there, from watering my plants with soapy water to setting vinegar traps everywhere and letting the soil dry out between waterings, and nothing worked. I didn't want to spray my plants with DEET, and I sure as hell wasn't going to repot them again, so the next thing I was going to try was an expensive organic insecticidal bacterial solution.

Thankfully, I didn't waste my money. The reason why letting the soil dry out should work is because gnats breed on moist soil, and the reason it wasn't working for me was because the problem was so severe that there were always enough survivors to repopulate my house after waterings. Not only that, by doing that I was also selecting for a new breed of drought-resistant supergnats! So I tried a new approach -- what if the top of the soil was always dry? Then the gnats could never breed. But how to do that without killing my plants? Here's the solution:

It's so simple. I started watering the plants without getting the top of the soil wet by carefully watering them around the edges of the pot. And if that didn't work, I'd carefully dig a moat-like trench with my finger along the sides of the pot and filled it with water. Ta-dah! Dry soil on top!

Two months on and I'm still watering my plants this way, but the fact is that I haven't seen one gnat in weeks! And this was a lot less work than having to search all over the city for a gardening store with a solution, not to mention a hell of a lot cheaper and healthier. Amazing.

DEATH TO GNATS!!!

Friday Finds

2009-04-03T12:09:00.000-04:00

I thought this was an April Fools prank, but it was actually the cover for July 2004. Toronto's mayor David Miller poses for Fab Magazine.

And.. I have no words for this. via Sociological Images.

Robot dance

2009-03-31T10:47:00.000-04:00

Seen at swissmiss

Angela Merkel Barbie!

2009-03-30T18:32:00.001-04:00

If you have spent the past few years pining for a Barbie doll version of Germany's first female leader, your prayers have just been answered.

heheh.

I knew this reminded me of something

2009-03-29T12:03:00.000-04:00

This is one of my favorite short movies ever:

It's from 1998, though I found it on the internet maybe around 2001. Now watch the trailer from Tim Burton's 9:

Waaay too similar! I hope Mark Osborne gets some credit for this.

Awesome animal videos, March edition

2009-03-29T03:03:00.000-04:00

Monkeys flossing, on BBC

Dolphins playing with bubble rings, via Sentient Developments

Fish with transparent head, from National Geographic.

The Monkey Bitchslap (a quick note)

2009-03-29T02:47:00.000-04:00

I created this blog today, and with a handy blogger feature I managed to import crap form about 5 previous blogs that I thought was alright (i.e. not too ranty), starting from way back in 2003. The main difference: I hate the world less now than I did at 21. I think the secret to not being angry at people is to not expect much from them in the first place. Hurrah!

A celebratory one

2009-03-16T22:03:00.000-04:00

Everything I've put in my locker now smells like snot forever. What does snot smell like, you say? What is the smell of a blocked nose? That should be a koan. I'm a natural born Zen master.

I'm not sure if everyone is capable of smelling snot like I do. If you are curious about what snot smells like, come to my locker.

This is all meant to emphasize that I am happy I now have a desk! With drawers! so now I don't need a locker. Nice.

The problem with tv is the person pulling the trigger

2009-03-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here watching some couple on TV "living the life" having a 5-star glammed up luxury vacation in Dubai, saying they're getting the "authentic Middle Eastern experience." Authentic?? In Dubai? A place that was built to be a fake sanitized version of someone's warped idea of the Middle East? I probably have a more authentic Middle Eastern experience eating falafel in downtown Toronto. Riding a camel in Dubai is as authentic as going up the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. It's even more fucked up than those dance shows that have judges crying and telling to the contestants that they will change the world through dance.

You know those people who automatically assume that anyone who doesn't watch TV is pretentious?

Fuck them.

I don't watch much TV. I usually claim it's because I don't have time, but that's not really true, is it? Most people don't have 30 spare hours a week to watch TV, but they still do it. No, time is there, time can be made and found.

The truth is that I don't watch much TV because I want to be deluded. I want to believe in the goodness of humanity and I want to believe that we aren't all a bunch of mediocre monkeys living mediocre lives having mediocre thoughts. Which is what I think after a couple hours of TV watching.

But every once in a while I turn on the TV because I want to be brain dead and I think TV will help, but it never works. It makes me angry. And ranty. It makes me think people are stupid. It makes me misanthropic and pretentious. So excuse me while I turn off my TV (read: change the channel).

Chris! I dare you to say they don't look alike.

2009-02-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

AND

Aside from the obvious eye colour difference, of course. I'm not blind, they really look alike!

Okay, what about these two:

AND

Spitting Image.

Whatever, maybe I'm just not that good with faces. Everyone looks alike to me.

Words v.1.

2009-01-28T14:01:00.000-05:00

Three words I learned today

Bokeh
Debonair
Elutriate

I wonder if people realize English isn't my first language and if they notice my accent.

Who's who?

2008-12-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

Face twins!

I didn't even realize they were different people until today.

Great Politics stuff

2008-11-28T16:12:00.000-05:00

Conservative spokesman Kory Teneycke should look up the word democracy in the Dictionary.

After an exciting new agreement between the Liberals and NDP to try and bring down this joke of a minority government, Teneycke claimed they are "doing this in the most undemocratic fashion."

Excuse me, Mr. Teneycke? Let me give you a definition of democracy from Merriam Webster:

1 a: government by the people ; especially : rule of the majority.

Low let me draw your attention to the results of the October 2008 election:

Conservatives: 5,208,796 votes, or 37% of the popular vote
Liberals: 3,633,185 votes, or 26% of the popular vote
NDP: 2,515,561 votes, or 18% of the popular vote

Liberals and NDP combined: 44% of the popular vote.
44% > 37%
therefore, a government supported by 44% of the popular vote is a democratic government.

And if you add the near 7% of voters who supported the Green Party, who incidentally got NO SEATS in parliament and I'm sure wouldn't mind seeing the NDP in power rather than the conservatives, then you get the absolute majority of Canadians supporting the new coalition government.

So, Mr. Teneycke, shut your face. You suck.

J.A.T.W.

2008-11-22T00:50:00.000-05:00

What do you say to yourself when you see yet another must-have gimmick that needs an entire Flickr group dedicated to it?

Do you say "ooh, I have to have it, there's joy to be had in spending the rest of your days taking pictures of your hand with an arrow on it and uploading it on Flickr, I don't want to miss out!".

Do you, really? Why?

WHY?

What a waste of life. Don't let yourself be used like that.

Another book review

2008-11-19T11:09:00.000-05:00

The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac

rating: 2 of 5 stars

So this is what started the "backpack revolution". Great. Except it was less backpacking, more Buddhism preaching. The main character (Ray?) comes across as a patronizing nutcase with his combination of drunken bumhood, Christianity, and Buddhism.

So he is a buddhist - correction: he thinks he is Buddha - and he also thinks he is a "crazy saint". He believes he can perform miracles, namely cure his mother of allergies, but then decides he won't perform miracles anymore because that will make him vain. WTF? Because him avoiding his own vanity is more important than curing people? Just a tad self-obsessed, no? One of the many, many things that make him look like an arrogant ass.

He's like that super annoying kid you travel with who thinks he is wise and you can't wait to get rid of in the next town because you KNOW his facial expression is saying that he feels sorry for you, poor you, if only you knew that everything is empty and awake! He's like Holden Caulfield with a backpack turned born-again-Buddhist (there is no such thing but that's the best way to describe it!)

Also, I hate to judge religion, BUT (actually I lie, I love judging religion) I am well familiar with zen Buddhism and I think his version of Buddhism is less Buddhist and more junky postmodernist (i.e. full of shit).

The only reason I gave this book 2 stars instead of one was because of the amazing descriptions of climbing and camping on mountains, especially chapter 33. If I had read that chapter alone I would have thought that Kerouac is the most amazing writer in the world. The rest is tripe.

View all my reviews.

Long Nights

2008-11-17T12:08:00.000-05:00

Last night I had a dream
that there were no more Tuesdays
and I did not understand
what I had become.

I put on my black dress,
ready for darkness,
but then I found out
it was only morning
and night never came.

Hyped Up

2008-11-14T10:55:00.000-05:00

Who watches the watchmen? You!

New Watchmen trailer here.

Awesome. I think it still has the potential to live up to the book. We shall see.

Shorter hemlines are in this season...

2008-11-14T10:34:00.000-05:00

as well as waxginas!

HAhahaha!

This is not the End of Cynicism

2008-11-05T09:17:00.000-05:00

"There is no cynicism to be seen anywhere tonight," I heard that somewhere on TV yesterday, maybe CNN or BBC or whatever I was watching at the time. "It is the end of cynicism."

Unless you've been living under a rock, I'm assuming everyone knows what happened last night. And yes it's a historic victory, the world has changed, blah blah... BUT.

California voted to ban gay marriage (53%)
Florida voted to ban gay marriage (62%!)
Arkansas voted to ban "unwed" adoptions (57%)

Overall a huge loss for same-sex rights. The end of cynicism? I think not.

But I think a certain amount of cynicism is necessary in life, and the lack of it can sometimes be detrimental. Think of the belief, for example, that if you love someone you wouldn't WANT to think about anybody else. This is one of the core beliefs about love that a lot of people have. Another one is that "love" is a supernaturally noble feeling that should never be questioned. Imagine, then, when someone who holds all these beliefs suddenly finds him/herself thinking about that other person: they will then question their feelings for their partner and feel that somehow they have to yield to this noble feeling of love for this new person by either cheating or splitting up with their partner. Whereas if you are a cynic you will understand that having an interest in other people is a healthy part of any relationship, and you will just think away, not beat yourself up about it, and everyone lives happily ever after.

Okay, that was a massive tangent, and oversimplified at best -- but it is one example among many. To sum up, I don't think cynicism is about judging people's motivations, quite the opposite in fact -- it's understanding that our own motivations are never as pure as we want them to be. We're only human, of course, so maybe cynicism shouldn't be viewed so negatively after all.

Daniel Dennett

2008-10-29T23:59:00.000-04:00

Awesome.

Enid

2008-10-20T11:01:00.000-04:00

Vulgar Moon makes compelling arguments for why Enid from Ghost World is awesome. I believe her wholeheartedly. I was actually thinking of making myself a W.W.E.D. (What Would Enid Do?) t-shirt. I wonder if they already exist.

Wet Corduroy

2008-10-19T21:46:00.000-04:00

Have you used the new Flickr stats function? I'm a little creeped out by it. Not only did someone look at my entire photostream a couple of weeks ago, but I also find out at least one of my photos has been linked from google images. I cliked on it to find out the search terms, and lo and behold: "wet corduroy." Wet corduroy?? What the F, google images! It doesn't say "wet corduroy", or "wet", or "corduroy" anywhere on the page! And the picture is definitely not about wet corduroy. I resent the perverse connotations too. Hmpf. Here's the picture in question.

Environmental decision making in everyday life

2008-10-12T15:56:00.000-04:00

I wrote this when I was in an exceptionally nerdy mood.

Say you were driving someone to the airport, and once arriving there they realize they forgot something. Of course if it was a passport or something to that effect you'd have to go back anyway, but what if it was something like a jacket? You'd then have the option to

A) drive back home to pick up the jacket, or
B) buy a new jacket at the airport.

If your goal is to make the choice that is most environmentally friendly, which one would you make? How do you decide which one to pick? While driving back and to the airport again intuitively sounds like the worst option, let's reconsider the costs and impacts of both options.

What is the cost of driving to and from the airport? For this case let's say it costs $20.
What is the cost of buying a new jacket? That is unknown until you actually buy the jacket, which you can only do after you've already decided to buy it, so let's estimate it. I'll say about $100. Now we convert this into a percentage value so that we can relate it to the badness impact scale.
what are the impacts of buying a new jacket? This is where it gets complicated. We have to consider the social impacts of buying something made out of sweatshops, the environmental impacts of producing man-made materials and all that energy and water used up in growing the cotton, the distance the materials were transported, all the chemicals used in bleaching, dying, etc. There's no way to really calculate this objectively, so let's give it a badness percentage scale, 100% being the worst a person can do, and 0% being the best. That will have to remain entirely a matter of opinion. I'm going to estimate that buying a new jacket is 50% bad.
what are the impacts of buying x litres of gas? I'm going to say about 25L estimated from the cost, but, as the example above, I'll have to consider abstract badness values for what I think is the "badness" of using up 25L of gas. Things to consider? The economy, war, using up non-renewable resources, contributing to global warning and all manner of diseases, etc. For me, I will give this a badness scale of 45%.

so let's say your decision, x, goes like this:

x = [cost(A) - cost(B)] / [impact(A) - impact(B)]

A must have a different value than B, obviously. if c(A)=c(B), use impact to make the decision, and vice versa.

so if x > 1, you go with option A
and if x < 1 you go with option B
and if x = 1, use the time spent to make the decision. How long would it take to drive back home, how long would it take to buy a new jacket? Go with the least time wasted.

so in this case,

x = (100-20)/(50-45) = 80/5 = 16
x > 1, therefore I drive back home to get the jacket.

I think a similar decision making process can be used to decide whether to eat local or organic.

On Hiding

2008-10-01T15:45:00.000-04:00

I've been following Yoko Ono's conceptual instructions blog (100 Acorns) since it started, and it's currently my favourite daily read. See for yourself.

September's Top 10: Warrior Women

2008-09-14T13:21:00.000-04:00

Ever since I can remember I've had a huge fascination for strong and brave women of all kinds. Take that as you will. Here are my top 10 warrior women:

10. it's a tie: a)Hua Mulan: Is an old Chinese tale about a woman who dresses as a man to fight in the war. it's a classic theme that's inspired many other similar stories over the years. b) Oya-Yansan: is an Orisha in yoruba mythology. She is the warrior-goddess of wind, lightning, fire and magic, who creates hurricanes and tornadoes and guards the underworld. She is also called "the one who grows a beard to go to war".

9. Xena: 2 words - Warrior Princess.

8. Boudicca/Boadicea: defended her land against the Romans, who didn't recognize women as heirs, in a mixture of justice and revenge. Who cares if she failed in the end. She fought, and that's what matters.

7. Ellen Ripley: She's frekin' badass, and she kills aliens. And she's #8 top heroes of al time.

6. Éowyn: When she confronted the Witch-king in the Lord of the Rings, he boasted that "no living man may hinder me," referring to the 1,000-year-old prophecy. Éowyn then removed her helmet, exposing her long blond hair and declared, before slaying him: "No living man am I! You look upon a woman."

5. The Amazons: the mythical nation of all-female warriors, who cut off their right breast to better use a bow and arrow. they had to be included in this list just for their sheer staying power in popular culture.

4. THE BRIDE/Beatrix Kiddo: Thankfully Chris reminded me of her after the first version of this list! Yes, she punches her way out of a freakin' coffin. And she made her big toe move and killed Bill and GOT HER REVENGE.

3. She-ra: PRINCESS OF POWER!!!

2. Buffy: yes, the vampire slayer. I think only the people who watched the whole series will understand this one. I should really say the no. 2 spot goes to the Buffy and Willow team. There you go.

1. Ayla: I don't think too many people will know this one, but Ayla is the main character in the clan of the cave bear, played by Daryl Hannah (who is awesome) in the 1986 movie. unfortunately I haven't read the book, and I can't even say if the movie is good or not, but Ayla is a character that really made an impression on me as I was growing up.

5-year-old orphaned Ayla wanders through the forest completely alone. Cold, hungry, and badly injured by a cave lion, she is discovered by the Clan of the Cave Bear. Alya is made part of the Clan, but her way of thinking is not the Clan way. She is constantly learning, and thinking for herself.

August Top 10: Flavour Combinations

2008-08-20T13:35:00.000-04:00

some things just taste better together.. woo!

10 - garlic & onion: this one may sound obvious, but it's not that common to have two things that are so pungent individually to go well together.

9 - red curry & coconut milk: one isn't that amazing without the other, but together they're off the hook, baby.

8 - dill and pickles: have you ever had a pickle without dill? they are crap.

7 - mustard & honey: yummm. sharp and sweet.

6 - strawberries & black pepper: damn right. there's a sciency explanation, but i don't really care. it's just delicious.

5 - avocado & wasabi: they're kind of opposites but complement each other perfectly. especially in sushi.

4 - apple & cinnamon: go absurdly well together. i don't understand it, but i like it.

3 - tomato & basil: the freshest the bestest.

2 - chocolate & coffee: chocolate is amazing, coffee is amazing, but mocha is so much more than the sum of its parts.

1 - toffee and banana: banoffee, my big favourite! it will always be my no. 1

Movies to Get Excited About

2008-08-18T14:15:00.000-04:00

Now that everyone and their mother have seen The Dark Night, for a while it looked as if there was nothing really amazing to look forward to and watch in theatres. How wrong was I! it was excitement overload yesterday as I found out that

1) Tim Burton is directing Alice in Wonderland. Coming out in 2010. It's always risky to hype something up so much and face disappointment, but I don't think it's even possible to screw up this one. It's Tim Burton! Directing Alice in Wonderland!

2) This one is even better: Coraline! Based on the Neil Gaiman book, Coraline is directed by stop-motion animation genius Henry Selick, who also directed none other than THE Nightmare Before Christmas. Neil Gaiman! Henry Selick! Stop-motion animation! (and although I could do wihtout the 3D idea, I'm definitely open to it). I cannot possibly imagine anything more exciting to look forward to. Except for maybe a Neil Gaiman-Tim Burton collaboration in a Neverwhere movie adaptation.

Japanese Literature

2008-08-14T14:54:00.000-04:00

Do books from Japanese authors always have uncomfortable things going on that none of the characters seem uncomfortable with, like pedophilia, incest, suicide? Or is it just the Japanese books that end up being translated into english, because that's what westerners want to hear about the Japanese?

Here's my review of N.P.

N.P. by Banana Yoshimoto

rating: 2 of 5 stars
I was unsure how to rate N.P., because I might have given it a better rating if I had read it at another time, in the 90s or when I was a teenager. I think maybe to me something was lost in translation - the short, matter-of-fact sentences didn't really engage me in the story or the characters. And there was a mistranslation: the word stepbrother is used when in the context of the story we see that she means half brother, as they are related by blood and have the same father.

It's always a bit strange as well to see characters talk about uncomfortable topics (like incest and suicide in this book) as if they were nothing out of the ordinary. The main character even points out that

"The man's love for her as a daughter and as a woman are one and the same, and this powerful feeling expands to fill the whole universe. It's uplifting."

I'm not at all saying that people shouldn't write about incest, but I felt that the way it was written alienated me a bit. But it was really the last sentence of the book that made me think I really didn't get the point:

"Everything that had happened was shockingly beautiful, enough to make you crazy."

I didn't feel it.

Free Captivity

2008-08-07T11:25:00.000-04:00

I remember well the last time I felt truly free. I was underwater somewhere in the Indian Ocean, trusting my life on a can on compressed air. What a befitting oxymoron!

I had all these plans for when I came back from traveling, all these things I was going to do to prevent myself from getting stuck in a rut, to never become so misanthropic like I used to be, to keep that openness to life, free of petty restrictions, of snap judgments, of worries. I was going to be who I really was without being afraid of being different. Where did that all go? Every day, little by little, I see the life in my eyes get dimmer and dimmer, I feel the weight on my chest both of my self-imposed restrictions and of the silent wrath of disapproval of everyone around me. I am being moulded, kneaded, into a distorted, grotesque thing that neither is nor was, and if I can help it, nor will be.

Some asshole once told me I was a free spirit. It was the only nice thing he ever said to me. In all honesty I never saw myself this way until that moment, and it felt like in a way with those words I had really become a free spirit. It was official, incontrovertible. To me, that meant that I was free to grow, to open up, learn, spread, strech. No more metaphorical walls and bindings, embarassment, guilt, worry-what-people-are-going-to-think, avoid eye contact and cover my body my every curve or else people are going to LOOK, not the good kind but the dirty reproachful look, the one that makes you feel like teeny tiny scum.

I'm stuck in a rut. I go dancing and people barely move because they don't want people to look at them or because they don't want to mess up their outfit or they don't want to step on anybody's toes. So I want to dance, to jump with my arms up in the air, shake my legs in every direction, but I don't, because I'm afraid of reproachful looks. I'm not afraid of sharks, I'm not afraid of heights, I'm not afraid of car crashes plain crashes robberies or kidnappings. But I'm afraid of a dirty look.

I'm stuck in a rut.

July's top 10: Things I Love about England

2008-07-15T11:39:00.000-04:00

1. Comedy - Peep Show, The Mighty Boosh, Dave Gorman, Bill Bailey, and countless others

2. Music - you'll see the tackiest commercial on tv, but they'll be playing Portishead, or Aphex Twin, or Jefferson Airplane, or something absurdly cool. it's shocking, it's wrong, but once it's gone and you start hearing soft rock ballads everywhere again, that's when you really appreciate it.

3.Mild winters - I rode my bike every day throughout winter, and didn't have to wear my winter coat at all. Lovely.

4. Quorn - yummy fungus goodness

5. Blue Tack - Genius. why the hell don't they sell them here?

6. Cornish Pasties - mmmm yum yum yum flaky delicious

7. The Seaside - Pretty pebbles and sea wind in your face

8. Rainbows - more rainbows in one year than I'd seen in the last 10. double rainbows, vivd rainbows, rainbows, rainbows. I like rainbows.

9. Weather - okay, I know I could have included rainbows in this one, but this is a separate category for me. Like the freak storm. I know I got injured because of it, but the experience of looking up at the sky and seeing a black cloud with blue sky all around, and multicoloured lightning going on every few seconds, that was pretty amazing. unforgettable. plus there's always something exciting going on with the clouds when you look at them. honestly.

10. Apple juice - they have the juiciest and appliest apple juice ever. none of that brown thick tropicana shit. this stuff is fresh and light and delicious, and they have a million different kinds made from a bazillion different kinds of apples. mmm.

In Dreams

2008-07-10T09:25:00.000-04:00

I can read, write, smell and taste things in my dreams.

It's not so great.

The other day I dreamed that I was reading the biggest book I'd ever seen (in dreams), entitled The Index of Intracellular Matrices. And if that wasn't random enough, when I started to read through it I realized it was a sort of Encyclopedia of Everything, with one-liner descriptions for everything under the sun. After noticing that it was in no way in alphabetical order, I opened a random page and started to read about the Free Tibet movement.

Last weekend during an afternoon nap I was eating something very sweet and sickly, that tasted so strong it actually woke me up. Even for the first few seconds I still had that taste in my mouth.

I've also mentioned before that some of my dreams play like a movie and have original soundtrack. Now that I don't mind. Shame it's all gone when you wake up.

6 quick non sequiturs

2008-07-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

1) I've listed Twilight on bookmooch. It's still available.

2) The passes sold for $48 on eBay yesterday

3) I looked up (just for fun) a google diagnosis on "headache and bitter taste", and concluded that it can only be either oral cancer or early menopause.

4) Was at the Lee Scratch Perry show last night - Awesome.

5) My foot hurts like a bitch since my last 5 mile run.

6) Happy Canada Day.

eBay Shocker!

2008-06-25T16:19:00.000-04:00

So call me a late bloomer. This Monday I listed stuff for sale on eBay for the first time, as it was a special 5-cent listing day. I was just ready to bin my metropass collection, when my wonderful guests at the clothing swap party suggested that I list it on eBay - and so I did, unsure if it would ever sell.

So I checked my bids this morning, and lo and behold, not only are there 5 bids, but the bid price went up from $ 0.99 to $ 20.50!

$ 20.50!! What! Who knew it was worth this much! I mean, it's not like an antiques roadshow rags-to-riches story or anything, but they were just my old subway passes. That I was going to throw in the bin.

I'm amazed. I wonder what the final price will be. 4 days left!

Review of Twilight

2008-06-25T16:17:00.000-04:00

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

My review

rating: 1 of 5 stars
I was so sure I was going to like it from reading the description and reviews, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

Let's start by saying that in fact it IS a conventional romance. Like a Mexican telenovela, falling in eternal love for each other comes before getting to know each other at all. And then in regular MTV-style, the getting to know each other part consists of asking what kind of music each other likes and how were the teachers at your other school.

Then it becomes repetitive: she repeats over and over how gorgeous he is - I lost count of how many times the author uses the words "god", "angel", and "Adonis" to describe Edward's beauty EVERY TIME HE TALKS.

Then it becomes disturbing: Bella is a pathetic little girl who is always getting herself in peril, who needs to be protected by and will do absolutely anything for Edward, despite knowing he could easily kill her. She repeats over and over the words "obediently", "complied", and "followed his orders", whether he's telling her to "drink up your soda" or "behave". Bella likes to obey. At some point she even calls an elaborate seat belt a "harness". This is vampire-teen dominance-submission without the sex.

To make matters worse, there is absolutely no story other than how much Bella loves Edward (SPOILER: except around pages 400-450 when some bad vampires try to kill Bella but of course Edward saves her). oh, and of course the grand finale of this book: HIGH SCHOOL PROM!

I am definitely not wasting my time reading the sequels.

View all my reviews.

Lights @ CN Tower

2008-06-17T19:59:00.000-04:00

This was part of Luminato, which really isn't such an interesting festival apart from key events like the Bubble Battle and the Silent Dance Party

Neverwhere!

2008-06-17T17:11:00.000-04:00

Why haven't they made a movie from this yet?

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This review is for both the mass paperback edition and the graphic novel edition.

This is my favourite Gaiman book so far. A brilliant fantasy novel about a regular guy who ends up in an underground city beneath London where the people who fall through the cracks end up and become invisible to the city above. As for the graphic novel version illustrated by Glenn Fabry, i was disappointed with the changes in the story and especially in the the way the characters dressed and looked - Door, for example, is a 16-year-old girl with short messy hair that dresses like a regular hobo, and in the graphic version she is a sexy vixen with big boobs in a Xena-like bikini and a leather trench coat. Didn't work for me.

View all my reviews.

June's Top 10: Things I Hate About England

2008-06-15T11:40:00.000-04:00

1. Toilets - beause they don't flush properly at all, and what is up with the 2 different taps for hot and cold water? I never know whether to burn or freeze my hands, and I don't like facing that tough choice every time I pee!

2. Rotten Teeth - this is more sad than anything, how people below a certain income level have their teeth falling to bits. it makes my eyes water for various reasons. and how the people in Britan's Worst Teeth on tv were all under 30. sad, sad.

3. Fees, taxes, bureaucracy - too many to list. how you need to buy a tv license. how it took me 3 months, 2 applications, and 4 visits to the bank to get a debit card. how it costs 59 pounds for a 1h 20min round trip from ipswich to london. how I was taxed 33% of peanuts that I earned, and many, many others.

4. Stupid health & safety regulations - there are so many, i should have written them down. one particularly annoying one is not having plugs in the bathroom. which means you have to drip on the carpet all the way to the bedroom to dry your hair.

5. Serial Killer - who just happened to live, and murder 5 women, about 2 minutes from my apartment. lovely.

6. Roundabouts and Intersections - madness. how impossible it is for pedestrians to get across. how it takes 5 minutes to cross the simplest intersection because you have at least 2 islands in the middle and you have to wait ages for each to turn green.

7. Bread - is crap. soft and mushy. the inexistence of grainy, crusty bread. how you can't even find french baguettes that aren't soft and mushy.

8. Freeview digiboxes - that keep on cutting out the best bits of programs because there's "no signal".

9. 24h signs - ALL 24h signs I have ever seen read: OPEN 24h, Mon-Sat 9:00-22:00, Sun 10:00-16:00.

10. Train travel and London Tube - slow. overpriced. dirty.

Dress to kill

2008-06-11T15:22:00.000-04:00

In the grander scheme of things, clothes are quite unimportant, as long as you have them. But rather than discuss the relative insignificance of fashion, let's consider the cultural differences in what is considered aesthetically pleasing attire:

I can't begin to talk about clothes without mentioning What Not To Wear , which usually involves taking people who wear rags or any otherwise inappropriate clothes and buying them a new wardrobe and haircut before they leave with a renewed self-esteem (and sometimes a new sense of self entirely). Nice enough, sure, but sometimes the imposed restrictions on what is appropriate to wear is borderline OCD.

Take, for example, the aspiring actress who liked to wear butterfly wings -- the hosts trashed all but one of her wings (not metaphorically) and literally forbade her to wear wings for her engagement party. To which I ask, what is so offensive about butterfly wings that you have to crush someone's fantasy world and possibly one of very few sources of joy to this person? So what if what they like to wear doesn't fit in with this ultra restrictive view that you absolutely must represent your individuality in what you wear, but only as much as everybody else! Any little bit more is too much! And then when she finally accepts her new clothes she is convinced that "this is the real me!" Which makes it appear as if the world is composed of legions of folk who don't know who they really are until Team Stacy-and-Clinton turns them into their clones.

I certainly don't idealize a world where people have to wear rags and hand-me-downs all the time because of poverty, but I do appreciate much more the cultures where nice clothes are those that show people's natural beauty, rather than those that are expensive, excessively groomed and only represent someone's financial status.

I think tomorrow I'm going to wear wings.

about embracing your inner bitch, or not.

2008-06-02T18:51:00.000-04:00

I like to think I'm not the kind of woman whose life is based on trying to compare herself to and be (read: look) better than others. Why is it, then, that it feels so mischievously delectable when you bump into someone you dislike when you know you're well dressed and looking great (and they are not)? It must be some kind of schadenfreude with a little bit of revenge mixed in. Unfortunately that means when you're the one on the other side it comes with all the feelings of insecurity.

I didn't feel any of this when I was traveling, a.k.a. sporting frizzy hair, no make up, covered in dirt and mud. A lot of women I've talked to feel the same, and I've had many theories to try to explain this, but I really haven't reached a conclusion. It's either really complicated or so simple I can't see it.

About creating this blog

2008-05-31T14:25:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a dream about ginormous sea hippos, eyes as big as a car, glistening grey, making huge waves that were splashing me on the balcony that I was watching them from. Then in the same dream I was looking for a tampon, but every time I unwrapped one it would swell up and ooze brown rotten fruit goo. What the hell did that mean?? So I consulted the dream oracles and the verdict is in: I must start a new blog.

Animals (and people)

2007-11-19T10:33:00.000-05:00

Random things happen to me sometimes. This week a monkey stole my bikini bottom. I was very upset. It was a really nice bikini, and the only bikini I brought. I had to buy another one, and I think I bought the only wearable bikini in Diani, as they all seem to be super 80s style here, ultra high-cut. But anyway, these cheeky sykes monkeys have been seen stealing food and grabbing clothes before and I’m very mad at them. I’ve been trying to blow my whistle at them but they always run off before I can get to it.

Nala the cat has also been very cheeky lately, biting hard and trying to eat my toes when I sleep. She uses her legs to get a better grip and really try to pull chunks off. When she’s not doing that, she still thinks she’s a kitten and tries to suckle on elbows.

We also have a baby vervet on quarantine at the moment called Merlin who will be introduced to the rest of the group in a bit. It’s just so cute to see this super tiny but very human-like little hands hold on to your fingers as if they were tree trunks. Then there are the colobus babies -- on a colobus check this week there were 4 infants! They are even cuter than Merlin. Colobus babies are very elusive, especially the white ones, they are all white until about 3 months old, then they turn black. I saw white babies. They were fantastically cute.

Last week we had an injured colobus call and it was my first time going on a call where the monkey was still alive. She had been electrocuted and was down for a while, but seemed well enough that we didn't have to bring her back. Since I arrived there have been a few electrocutions and also dog attack deaths, so it was good to see at least one actually survive.

Orit unfortunately left the Trust this morning, but will spend a few days in Mombasa, which means we’ll go out in Mombasa one of these nights. Right now I am about to start on my colobridges assessment project and trying to figure out the logistics of it. There seems to be, as was the case with the education project, lots and lots of information and material on the computer that is just sitting there unsorted and unused. As I started looking through the files today I realized that a lot of the work I was going to do had already been done and no one seemed to know about it. So that's the job I'm giving myself today, and thank goodness the office is air conditioned.

Safari

2007-11-18T10:49:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we went to Tsavo East National Park and stayed at a lodge overlooking a water hole. Loads of animals would just come by like elephants and lions and buffalo. We saw oodles of amazing birds, and ginormous beetles which I I.D.ed as giant dung beetles. I am in love with them, they are so beautiful and shiny and gigantic, and they have furry bellies which are nice and soft but probably covered in poo and mites but I liked picking them up anyway.

On safari we saw a million billion amazing animals like cheetahs and oryx. One of the guys must have a list of species somewhere, I may post them later. Then on the last day we drove slightly off the beaten path and saw a car all decayed and rusted up that was stuck on a muddy swampy bit forever. It was very picturesque, which is why I took a picture. As soon as the shutter clicked, our car got stuck in the mud. We tried everything including elephant dung for traction but were still stuck. After a while Gwili and Tori walked off to look for help, and Orit and Shiv and I stayed behind in the car.

I was sure we'd be there at least overnight and wished I knew more survival skills, and I was also hoping that Tori and Gwili wouldn't get killed by leopards or elephants. But then we were super lucky and a few hours later help came and we got out. Then some time later when we were already out of the park we got stuck in the mud again. And again very very luckily, this happened as a truckload of beefy gents was driving by, so we got immediate help and got out of the mud again.

It was all great fun, and giraffes are awesome.

Work

2007-11-08T11:14:00.000-05:00

Today was a pretty productive day, at least compared to yesterday, when we were supposed to help the kaya people (sacred forest) protect the land from land grabbers, as it seems that there is someone building a house right on the spot where the CT planted loads of trees. But when we got there there was no one there except the "owner" of the plot, who said that the whole kaya had been bought and sold to an insurance company some 30 years ago. Kayas aren't menat to be sold but apparently there are some shady corrupt people in Nairobi with a penchant for selling protected land, and there isn't much that can be done about that.

But today was better. In the morning we went for a Colobus check and we found loads of colobus -- 6 troops, 53 individuals in total. The last troop had 10 colobus and we got quite close to them. I got great pictures, which I will upload if I ever manage to get a decent connection.

In the afternoon we went de-snaring, i.e. going into the bush and removing snares, and we managed to find 15! I managed to spot one by myself for the first time, and ended up finding 3. One was made with string, one with insulated wire, and one with barbed wire. There were others made with rope and telephone cables too. It's a bit of a bitersweet job, because it's satisfying to find so many and remove them, but depressing that there were so many there in the first place, and that they'll just be replaced, and we'll have to go again and again, just hoping to remove them before an animal gets caught in it.

Later on there was a call for a dead colobus and we went to pick it up. It was a little juvenile who had been killed by dogs, and it was such a downer because I kept thinking it could have been one of the colobus that we saw earlier on in the day. But that's what happens, and that's why I'm here I guess. Calls for dead colobus monkeys are usually from electrocution, because here most of the electric wires aren't insulated.

Tomorrow I am going on safari for the weekend, to Tsavo West national park (yay!).

And I guess I'm keeping the blog after all.

Pole Pole / Slowly

2007-10-29T11:58:00.000-04:00

It's amazing how my determination for keeping a travel blog has just evaporated in the one week and some odd days that I've been here. It seems like too much effort and I don't even know if anyone is reading this anyway. I'm just not interested in analyzing or philosophizing anything, or thinking about the meaning of things, the what the why and the how. I really just feel like either just sitting at the beach or napping. In just a few days I went from being ultra enthusiastic about working and being productive to being some sort of beach bum. I fell right into the rhythm of things. Everything pole pole.

I have actually done some work and chosen some more long-term projects to work on while I'm here, which I've sort of started on. I'm adding more educational resources, especially for younger children, and then I'll start mapping the colobridges and do an assessment of how they're being used by the primates.

Regarding packing, I forgot my sunscreen (oops), USB cable (crap), and birkenstocks. Brought way too many long-sleeve shirts, completely unnecessary for Diani (in a fit of nervousness I ended up stuffing 2 more for a total of 4), but I'm still hoping to get some use out of them. And not enough sarongs and skirts- I'm thinking of buying at least one more sarong, as that's pretty much all I wear here when I'm not working.

I don't think I'll update this as much as I was planning to, unless something really exciting happens. Let's see... today I climbed some trees as part of colobridge maintenance... this week I've seen a bunch of birds, crabs, geckos, snails, hermit crabs, babboons, colobus, sykes, and vervets... have yet to see bush babies and am hoping I will soon... went snorkeling, bought a snorkel mask, and went to a nearby village as part of education outreach. Not many exciting bugs at all here, except for the giant millipedes. Tomorrow I'll have a Swahili lesson (hopefully). It is hot as hell, and I've never meant it this much.

One of these weekends I think I'm going to go and do something really interesting... and then when that happens I'll come and write some more.

Hazy first days

2007-10-20T16:12:00.000-04:00

I arrived last night, I think. It was pretty late when I got here at the Trust, but somehow still managed to get taken out to some bar on the beach. Lots of stars in the sky. But it was only today that I could see how nice the beach really is. Crystalline turquoise. I'm going to try to find a cheap snorkel kit somewhere, and get PADI certification too. I've seen a colobus or two, too. And some sort of miniature antelope, a giant rat thing, and some interesting birds. And a crazy-looking spider and a bunch of giant millipedes everywhere. and there is a kitten who gave me cat hickies on my arm. As for people, not so many volunteers here, but it's good that way.

I must sound retarded right now. I'm tired and jet lagged. Confused and disoriented. I haven't had my briefing yet either, because it's the weekend, so until Monday I will be not-quite-knowing what's going on. And today was a national holiday too. But there seems to be issues with the new management. I'm hoping it doesn't turn all dramarama.

Tomorrow there's supposed to be a Goat Derby that we're all going to. Hmm yes.

What about Brazil?

2007-10-10T17:17:00.000-04:00

I forgot about Brazil.

I was so concerned with everything else that I didn't even think about my trip here. I didn't think about packing, about what I'd do when I got here, who would I see, where would I go, in what order. I just didn't think. And now I'm here, I only have a few days left, and despite all this time I've had to think about Brazil, I still don't know what to think.

I have a love/hate relationship with the country. I'm like Dr. Daruwalla in John Irving's A Son of the Circus, who keeps going back to India. I don't have circus midgets to come back to, but I do feel like when I'm here I don't know who I am. I'm not really Brazilian, with that obsessive extraversion, that cunning, that intolerance, that pride and arrogance, that mega frantic yet snail-slow pace of things. But I'm not really Canadian either. I'm not anything, and I don't even know what to say when people ask me where I'm living now. I usually say nowhere, that I'm in between places, that I don't quite know when I'll be back in Canada.

I am the epitome of lost.

But all that is too philosophical. Moving on to more concrete topics, about which there exists no doubt:

1) Overnight flights are crap. Especially when you're sitting on the last row where the seats don't lean back.

2) Boarding a plane containing an entire winning soccer team is crap.

3) No matter how crap and exotic your favourite childhood foods were, you will always love them.

4) Family is wonderfully weird and complicated.

And then there's that Africa trip date approaching. I've started taking Lariam and I'm having crap side effects. The crazy dreams are cool, but the nausea and crippling anxiety are really not cool at all. I may drop some dough on Malarone, or just say fuck it all to malaria prophylaxis. What do you think?

Jane Goodall and other things

2007-09-21T18:44:00.000-04:00

Jane Goodall holds Mr. H
Originally uploaded by IzzyNomad

I've been meaning to write an entry about seeing Jane Goodall speak for a while. I saw her last Saturday, for her talk "Gombe and beyond", and she was her usual amazing self. It was the second time that I saw her at Con Hall in Toronto, but no less inspiring -- I can't think of another word to describe her. Especially because her talk related so much to my Africa trip, I left very much wanting to DO stuff and get involved.

But this week was nerve-racking and I feel anything but inspired. I feel like I'm married to my tasks right now and I'm not giving any of them enough attention. I should be taking care of the Africa trip arrangements, doing all the paperwork for Steve to come to Canada, and applying for grad school. Instead I'm reacting like a metaphorical ostrich. Grad school is what I'm most worried about at the moment, because I only have a week left in Canada and I don't have a supervisor yet, which means I can't complete my application. The more I get into it the more I realize I shouldn't have left this for so late. I could have started this earlier and bought myself an extra couple of weeks. I don't know how much good that would have done, but in any case, I'm pressed for time now. I need more time, need more time.

In other news, I went back for my Hep B shot no. 2 this morning. It may be some sort of placebo effect, but I do feel quite confused right now. I also got the promised handout about zoonoses (because animals carry diseases and I should be very careful!), and for malaria a prescription for Lariam.

Lariam is such a stupid name. It's like naming a flu medication "Luf", or "Erpesh" for a herpes cream. The doc had to make sure that my mental health was ok first (um sure), since Lariam can make people go crazy, among other mental symptoms like nightmares.

That means I will, of course, have nightmares. About contracting monkeypox, or simian herpes. Thanks for that handout, doc!

And that's all I have to say.

Packing

2007-09-10T18:45:00.000-04:00

I've been spending a lot of time just thinking about what to pack for this trip. I think for ages I've been in an eternal quest to pack the perfect pack, yet it always seems to elude me. The perfect pack has everything that you need and nothing you don't need, in 10-12 kg for 3-14 days, and 15-20 kg for 3 weeks - 6 months. Of course you learn and improve your packing skills the more you travel, but I'm embarrassed to say that my learning has been limited to what to take, and no amount of traveling has ever taught me what NOT to take. The more I travel, the more I want to pack. More, more, more.

For this trip I have made it my personal quest to gather experiences and compile a list of what not to take. The first one is, of course, jeans. At first I couldn't fathom traveling without jeans - it's usually the first thing in my pack list wherever I travel; but the truth is, they are bulky, heavy, never dry in the tropics, and pretty much impossible to put on without baby powder when it's humid. A big thank you to Chris for beating this idea out of me, I will be eternally grateful.

Other things I've decided not to take include: hiking boots (people never end up wearing them anyway - they are too hot, too bulky, too heavy - much better to take wellies instead), solid shampoo bar (even though it is a weight and space saver, it is just impossible to rub a bar of soap on your head and wash your scalp properly if you have any hair at all), and Nalgene water bottles (sure they're great, but they are bulky as hell, and hard so can't be squished).

Which brings me to the topic of what I will pack, because there are things that make your life so much easier when you travel that you have to bring them with you.

1- Water hydration system.

Why: it carries more water than bottles, is lighter than Nalgene bottles, and PACKS FLAT when empty. Fucking genius.

2- The Divacup.
Why: This was a lifesaver when I went to Ecuador. It is environmentally friendly, does not cause TSS, you only have to change it every 12h, and is absolutely perfect for long stays at very remote places or places where they don't sell tampons for religious reasons. Can be the Divacup, the Keeper, or the Mooncup in the UK.

3- Waterproof camera case.
Why: How amazing is that, not worrying about taking your camera on a boat, or to the beach, or even scuba diving (woo!). Not having to buy disposable waterproof cameras and hold old to the damn things until you can get home and process them. It's big, it's heavy, it's bulky, and I don't care. It's just purely awesome.

4- Extended wear contact lenses.
Why: Not worrying about your eyes when camping. Not having to take a 6-month supply of contact lens solution because whatever country you're going to doesn't sell it. Not worrying about being attacked at night and not being able to see. WoooOOOOooo!

5- A sturdy, moulded-cup sports bra.
Why: This is one of the things I had to actually buy on my last big trip. I had only bought "flat" sports bras, which offer minimal support, far below what you need for bus & boat rides, which WILL BE bumpier than you think, and also horseback riding, which I never imagined I would have done. I like my Champion bra but I hear Nike bras are good too.

6- The SheWee.
Why: Peeing in the bushes is no easy feat for women. The SheWee Changed my life. Think you don't need it? Consider bearing your ass at the level where mosquitoes love to hover and spiky thorns abound. Then consider squatting on safari and having your pants around your ankles when all you're thinking about is how fast you can run from a leopard. Still think you don't need it?

So you see. Lots of things I'm taking, not a lot of things that I'm not taking. I'm not sure how much more I can reduce my packing list, but in case anyone is wondering, here it is. Bear in mind I'll be away for 6 months.

CLOTHES

2 pairs quickdry cargo pants
2 pairs midcalf skirts (great for heat and Islamic countries)
1 pair bermuda shorts
1 pair capris
1 fleece hoodie
1 heavy duty rain jacket
3 long sleeve shirts for work & sun
4 t-shirts
4 tank tops
2 multi-purpose sarongs (can be used as a head cover, arms cover, beach wrap, a skirt, to wrap around your pants where pants are inappropriate, and as an impromptu blanket. but yes, I am considering taking just 1)
2 bikini/swimsuit (yes, I am considering taking just 1)
1 wide-brim hat and 1 baseball cap. Yes, one of them. Maybe.
oodles of bandanas. Maybe a bit less than oodles.
a reasonable amount of underwear/sleepwear/socks

SHOES

1 pair rubber boots/wellies
1 pair trail runners
1 pair birkenstocks
1 pair rubber flip flops

STUFF

1 mosquito net
1 flashlight/torch
1 sleeping bag
1 pair binoculars
1 pair swim goggles
1 inflatable neck pillow
1 padlock
1 camera & waterproof case
toiletries, enough for ~2 months
meds incl. 1st aid, water purification tablets, malaria meds, multivitamins, $30 worth of Imodium, and $20 worth of Sea Legs. I should be safe.
lots of suncreen
1 travel towel
1 travel-size Rummi & pack of cards
2 lonely planet books
recharger & batteries
mini mp3 player
wristwatch with alarm
oodles of 30% DEET spray
water hydration system
shewee & other girly stuff
1 pocket knife/ fork & spoon toolkit
notebook/planner
daypack
1 whistle
BEAR SPRAY (If Andrew hooks me up like he said he would!)
all this inside the 60L backpack, of course

And that's all, if I'm not forgetting anything. I guess after I get back I'll need to report which of all this stuff was really useless. And try to learn from my mistakes. Again.

2005-04-15T00:11:00.000-04:00

Overheard on the bus last week:

"It's an insult to God to call him a Holy Man! He eats, sleeps, and shits just like you and me, man!!"

2005-04-02T23:46:00.000-05:00

I am absolutely horrified to discover that "irregardless" is actually a word in the dictionary.

2005-01-08T15:36:00.000-05:00

Fat-phobia woes

Quite a few blogs recently had one or more ranty posts about fat phobia, which reminded me of an incident a few months ago at a meetup.

We were sitting in a booth in a cafe, 3 on each bench. My side was very roomy, 2 more of me could fit in there. On the other side, this woman was falling off the side of the bench, as she very obviously had only one butt cheek seated.

So I said: "Do you want to sit here?"

Her: "No. Why do you think I'd want to sit there?"

Me: "Because there's more space."

Her [scorns]: "I don't need more space. I'm fine here, thank you."

Me [mortified over the thought that I just commited a major faux-pas]: "Ok."

2 minutes later...

Her: "Ok, I'll take your seat, but only because I want to sit next to my husband."

Seriously... if you're not comfortable with your own body, why do you expect others to be? Don't pretend that you're not bigger.. get over it already.

2004-10-01T11:17:00.000-04:00

The Death of the Female American Brain

I was so sure that the "Vote for Carrie Campaign" (of Sex and the City, of course) was a political satire on the mind-numbing apoliticizing properties of media directed towards women. Reading the site I thought 'this has got to be a joke', but then I realized that the site was actually hosted by TBS to promote Sex and the City. It's still a joke, not in the sense that I thought, but more like "Omigod that's funny because it's true and that's soooo me!" humour. Read it and weep.

Alternate sources mentioned that this page is actually encouraging women to vote. Um... how exactly? Maybe if they we'ren't aware that there was an election going on and now they do thanks to Carrie.

"The entire campaign is fun, interactive, supports the brand and is so Carrie!" - Diva Marketing

Do I not get the joke? Please tell me how this campaign could possibly be encouraging women to vote! Wishful thinking maybe?? According to TBS the campaign has nothing to do with encouraging women to vote, but encouraging women to watch the show. A quick google search will tell you that.

And then you wonder why 22 million single women don't vote.

As an addition, the following was actually said in an episode of Sex and the City (yes I do watch it sometimes):

"Since when have you been interested in politics?"

"Since always. It's a great way to meet men."

"I always vote on candidates based on their looks. Cute guys make great presidents."

"I'm dating a potential controller. The power thing turns me on."

"Why should we vote for him again?"

"I'm sleeping with him."

"Works for me."

2004-05-17T13:10:00.000-04:00

How to Write an Art Criticism Essay in 7 Easy Steps

Make up words. Turn nouns into adjectives by adding -esque and -ian to the end. Turn adjectives into verbs by adding -ing to the end. Turn everything into nouns by adding -ness to the end.
Overuse abstract terms. Combine them together in really long sentences so that the end result is unintelligible. Ex. "Stella's works took the critic's earlier dogma of formal self-containment to a deadpan conclusion expunging any residues of Abstract Expressionist emotionalism and seizing on John's use of systematic pictorial rationales, Stella deducted the internal logic of paintings such as 'Die Fahne Hoch!' form their nature as objects." by David Hopkins in Modernism in Retreat: Minimalist Aesthetics and Beyond.
Call art works everything and its opposite. Not only can you say anything about at artist's piece, but actually anything and the opposite too. Ex. "Nonsensical and profoundly meaningful", "Polke treats himself as both subject and object", "abstract and deeply realistic". by Donald Kuspit in At the Tomb of the Unknown Picture: Sigmar Polke's Art.
Pull comments out of your ass. Defy common sense and logic and make subjective comments that are ridiculously absurd. No one will say anything, because, well.. it's art. Ex. "The longer I look at the painting, the more attentive I become to my own body, its sensations and postural schema." "...the tacit knowledge I have about my own body becomes entirely conscious, as I become aware of that body that I experience at this precise moment.

My living body sheds its anonymity as it assimilates this thinglike object, this seeming slice or slab of glistening black obsidian, thereby becoming an imagined body, brought into being by the painting and my attention to it." by Campbell, talking about Ron Martin's 'black painting' (to the right), in Imagination, Materiality, and Body-Image: Ron Martin.
Use extreme forms of metaphor that make you sound like you're having drug-induced hallucinations. Ex. "A modern Cuban composer, Caturla, earned his living as a judge. A man he sentenced to life imprisonment escaped and murdered Caturla not where it is within us, but like an empty glass into which at any moment anything may be poured, just something, finitely something, or even to be able to drink a glass of water." by John Cage in Juliard Lecture.
Make reference to obscure academic subjects, especially ones that specialize in making no sense, such as Postmodernism.
last but not least, write so horribly that you leave art professors no material to ask exam questions on, so as to force them to ask only feckless questions about names and dates.

Aren't we all glad it's Summer.

2004-03-03T16:14:00.000-05:00

Cat Poo Brew

A Canadian professor found a way to "harvest" the very expensive ($670/lb) Kopi Luwak java beans in Ethiopia rather than Indonesia, since civil war in that country was cutting supplies short.

According to today's Metro (front page, bottom left), "What makes it so special is that the coffee beans are processed through the bowels of a jungle-dwelling Indonesial civet cat, which gives this cup of joe its distinct flavour -- a light, earthy taste." So next time you are cleaning your litter box, remember: there are people who pay hundreds of dollars to drink cat poo.

2004-01-23T01:50:00.000-05:00

I Prostitute My Brain For Money

This picture represents the neighbourhood where my workplace is situated:

I hear that in Switzerland, signs like these are very common. Europeans are so much more sophisticated... while here people are learning how to not shit like a monkey, there the men sit down to pee. Now why did I ever leave that place.

2003-12-27T17:33:00.000-05:00

The Man Translator
Excerpt from 'The Bad Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want'

What he says:
I'm not very close to my family.
What he means:
Will you be my mommy?

What he says:
I go out with my buddies at least once a week
What he means:
I'm dating other women

What he says:
I don't believe in sex before marriage.
What he means:
I think I'm gay, but humour me for a few months, okay?

What he says:
I'd love for you to meet my mother on our second date.
What he means:
I'm definitely gay, but cover for me for a few months, okay?

What he says:
My career has always been my top priority.
What he means:
I have a two-inch penis.

What he says:
The sexiest thing about you is your mind.
What he means:
You're not that attractive but I'll still sleep with you.

What he says:
I work out a lot.
What he means:
I really love my body! Can I show you?

What he says:
I think we should slow things down for a while.
What he means:
Oh, shit. I'm falling in love.